ohkie most probably im talking to ghosts here,cause nobody ever visits this place anymore.and ive not blogged here for more than a year. but! those out there who knows,knows i have a new blog. so,carry on there. maybe i'll pen some of my own poems and songs here occasionally. but check out my new blog ohkie? ohkie cool.
phantoms of the past i'll chase you off i'll fly higher than you can ever imagine
---10:13 PM---
Friday, June 29, 2007
wake me up when its all gone
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH Just wanted to let it out.Summer Tests done and over with,finally. I need to get out,wind out and show the finger to that pile of revision notes.Like finally. I made a long list of stuff to do after the exams,and its longer than the timetable i drew up for the weeks before Summer Tests.haha. And weather's freaking hot these days.Exarcebating this headache.Climate's in chaos.Thanks to the adults.Selfish,ignorant,obstinate,polluting adults bent on self-destruction.What's with me and adults? haha. I dunno. Just hate the majority of them. Especially those in suits and ties walking down Shenton way with that haughty,contemptous look. Like they own the street. And arent adults cause of Wars,famine,genocides,political crap and whatnot? haha let me stop here. Summer Test is OVER!!!!! woohoo. but then,i dunno. feel kinda empty. aw,fcuk it.
and you should know it was over by then but you lied,how could you your lips say they love but your eyes say they hate you said it could last but you blew it away like dust you promised the sky, and threw it away like a stone
---4:52 PM---
Sunday, June 10, 2007
...wait for tomorrow...
Intensive will start.Incommunicado for 7 days.I'll try.Gonna get it down,get down to business now.Get out of the fucking mind,face the time set.I'll have to make it this time.I'll make it.God willing.This is redemption. And maybe you stitched it up a bit,but it's still torn apart,so slow down my bleeding heart.And hear those cries.I'll wait.
and the clouds broke open the shaft of light,last life you held your hand out i took this blade to the palm it's meant to be,sunset falls you hide those tears i silence my cries,masked and let us rise,forever lovers
sweet resonance serenading our masquerade
---10:38 PM---
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
...six six seven...
Leave Out All The Rest i dreamed i was missing you were so scared but no one would listen cause no one else cared after my dreaming i woke with this fear what am i leaving when im done here so if you're asking me i want you to know when my time comes forget the wrong that ive done help me leave behind some reasons to be missed dont resent me and when youre feeling empty keep me in your memory leave out all the rest leave out all the rest dont be afraid ive taken my beating ive shared what i made im strong on the surface not all the way through ive never been perfect but neither have you so if youre asking me i want you to know forgetting/all the pain inside you learned to hide so well pretending/someone else can come and save me from myself i cant be who you are i cant be who you are scarred,burnt you burnt me up inside torn,broken i broke the facade outside
---7:02 PM---
Monday, June 4, 2007
...Mirrors on the wall,Cutting the deepest of them all...
I made a mistake.I can't think right now.Im not myself anymore.I push myself back on the dirt.I break my reflection.I tear those wishes apart.I break my insides to dust. Given Up wake in a sweat again another day's been laid to waste in my disgrace stuck in my head again feels like i'll never leave this place,there's no escape i'm my own worst enemy ive given up im sick of living is there nothing you can say take this all away im suffocating tell me what the fuck is wrong with me i dont know what to take thought i was focused but im scared,im not prepared i hyperventilate looking for help somehow,somewhere and you dont care put me out of my fucking misery my december, my cries valediction, those lies
---6:45 PM---
Friday, June 1, 2007
...razorsharp light...
I don't know how I'm gonna spend my weekend.Study?Yea sure..till my brains bleed.Till all I can see is a blur of words,and all I can feel is resent.I hate feeling this way.I want this to just be a passing period,but it seems to be etched deep in me now.And I feel I'm drifting further from you.I hate this.I need to get out,I need air,I need the sky and seas.I need to let this out,but at the same time I'm keeping it deep inside,building a facade.And I'm still not telling you yet,though I want to.
and cut me deep make me bleed and close the pages as my memory fades
---9:59 PM---
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
...misery...
Two months.Two months have passed since I felt this way.And Im still feeling this way.Ive just been so empty,forlorn and I cant seem to know why.But Saturday's the day,and it's coming.=> But I just can't help but to feel this way.Im still in denial.Why am I here?Why am I still stuck here?I used to be best in my class,but that was Olevels.How far from the throne I came crashing down.Disillusionment.And Im nothing.Nothing but denial in trash.Maybe Im losing my sense of purpose.I let myself down.And Im trying to pick myself back up.But it seems Im kicking my face back down to the ground,the hatred.I let myself down again.And it doesn't help school is a fenced-up,walled institution of subjugation,walls here,walls there.What time is it?Why doesn't the day end yet?What am I doing here?What time is it?Im breaking down.And I need you here.
Given Up
Ive given up Im sick of living is there nothing you can say take this all away i'm suffocating tell me what the fuck is wrong with me